Archive for the 'On the Web' Category

Computer Stupidities

# Tech Support: “Thank you for calling customer service, and how may I help you?”
# Customer: “I can’t get it to do.”
# Tech Support: “Excuse me, ma’am?”
# Customer: “I can’t get my Internet to do.”
# Tech Support: “Let’s check your setup.”
# Customer: “Okey dokey.”
# Tech Support: “Are you at your desktop?”
# Customer: “Yes.”
# Tech Support: “Do a double click on the ‘My Computer’ icon.”
# Customer: “I don’t see that one.”
# Tech Support: “What screen are you on, and what does you desktop look like?”
# Customer: “Wood.”
# Tech Support: “What’s on your screen, ma’am?”
# Customer: “A bunch of names.”
# Tech Support: “Like what?”
# Customer: “Bill, George, Larry, Jim.”
# Tech Support: “What screen are you on?”
# Customer: “I am on the one I’m on. I need to go get my daughter. She’s the computer guru of the family.”
# Tech Support: “Great, thank you.”
# April: “Hi, I’m April, and you are?”
# Tech Support: “Mike.”
# April: “Mike. Cool, dude.”
# Tech Support: “Are you at your desktop?”
# April: “You will have to excuse my mother. She’s a little dense.”
# Tech Support: “No problem.”
# April: “How old are you?”
# Tech Support: “300 years old. I’m the ‘Highlander.’ Um, would you do a double click on the ‘My Computer’ icon?”
# April: “Sorry, I don’t see that one.”
# Tech Support: “What do you see?”
# April: “Bill, George, Larry, and Jim.”
# Tech Support: “What version of Windows are you using?”
# April: “Ninety-something I guess.”
# Tech Support: “Erm. Shut down the computer and reboot.”
# April: “Ok….” (pause) “Done.”
# Tech Support: “What does your screen say?
# April: “Bill, Larry, Jim, Barbie, and Wimper.”
# Tech Support: “Just for kicks, do a double click on ‘Bill,’ and see what happens.”
# April: “What is this?”
# Tech Support: “What did it do?”
# April: “It now has little folders: modems, devices, etc.”
# Tech Support: “Why was your ‘My Computer’ icon named Bill?”
# April: “I wanted to name it something cute. Did I screw up?”

Beware the Swamp Woman

Diana, fiancee of The Other Matt, has a web page. Visit. They’re getting married in October in the far away land of Rhode Island.

John Kerry Would Make A Better Comedian Than a Politician

So, Amy sent me a link to Catholic Ragemonkey talking about a John Kerry speach. He mentioned a quote (possibly partly not exact words) that went like so: “…that Den Mother taught me to see trees as the cathedrals of nature…blah, blah…and so we can and must march to the day of full equality for all women.” And commented how equality is good nad such, but that it was like a political sleight of hand. He started talking about nature and then BAM! equality for women, hoo-boy, ya betcha!

This was what I was talking about in my post before. If he were a comedian and he said something like that, I’d laugh. It’s exactly what I meant, sorta. Start with one premise, and then smash a different one into one’s field of thought by using some little twist. It’s a great thing! If you’re trying to make someone laugh. Not if you’re trying to be president.

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