Computer Stupidities

# Tech Support: “Thank you for calling customer service, and how may I help you?”
# Customer: “I can’t get it to do.”
# Tech Support: “Excuse me, ma’am?”
# Customer: “I can’t get my Internet to do.”
# Tech Support: “Let’s check your setup.”
# Customer: “Okey dokey.”
# Tech Support: “Are you at your desktop?”
# Customer: “Yes.”
# Tech Support: “Do a double click on the ‘My Computer’ icon.”
# Customer: “I don’t see that one.”
# Tech Support: “What screen are you on, and what does you desktop look like?”
# Customer: “Wood.”
# Tech Support: “What’s on your screen, ma’am?”
# Customer: “A bunch of names.”
# Tech Support: “Like what?”
# Customer: “Bill, George, Larry, Jim.”
# Tech Support: “What screen are you on?”
# Customer: “I am on the one I’m on. I need to go get my daughter. She’s the computer guru of the family.”
# Tech Support: “Great, thank you.”
# April: “Hi, I’m April, and you are?”
# Tech Support: “Mike.”
# April: “Mike. Cool, dude.”
# Tech Support: “Are you at your desktop?”
# April: “You will have to excuse my mother. She’s a little dense.”
# Tech Support: “No problem.”
# April: “How old are you?”
# Tech Support: “300 years old. I’m the ‘Highlander.’ Um, would you do a double click on the ‘My Computer’ icon?”
# April: “Sorry, I don’t see that one.”
# Tech Support: “What do you see?”
# April: “Bill, George, Larry, and Jim.”
# Tech Support: “What version of Windows are you using?”
# April: “Ninety-something I guess.”
# Tech Support: “Erm. Shut down the computer and reboot.”
# April: “Ok….” (pause) “Done.”
# Tech Support: “What does your screen say?
# April: “Bill, Larry, Jim, Barbie, and Wimper.”
# Tech Support: “Just for kicks, do a double click on ‘Bill,’ and see what happens.”
# April: “What is this?”
# Tech Support: “What did it do?”
# April: “It now has little folders: modems, devices, etc.”
# Tech Support: “Why was your ‘My Computer’ icon named Bill?”
# April: “I wanted to name it something cute. Did I screw up?”

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